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Last night C and I came home after 9 days in the hospital.  These were the darkest days of our lives to say the least.  I won't recount the experience here as this blog was intended to be light, but I will share that we learned that our seemingly healthy perfect baby boy has a terribly malignant, inoperable, rare and deadly type of brain tumor, ATRT. 

I only wish I had seen this coming sooner to potentially have improved the outcome, but I also feel like some part of me always knew this was coming in some way.  Our little boy was a beautiful gift to complete our family, it had seemed as though we couldn't ask for anything more, and of course we've never been that lucky to expect that we could hold onto this moment of perfection. 

While I'm sure the darkness that we feel at this time in our lives will of course touch these pages to come, I'm trying to keep in the moment.  Just like many things that seemed to fall in line with this moment, the name of this blog could never be more true.  The past is most certainly history, those thoughts and dreams are long gone and will not be recaptured.  The future, though bleak, is of course a mystery, and frankly I'm happy to let it remain that way for as long as we can manage it, that is really the goal now.  All we have is today, and going forward I'll try to update more frequently with images and notes of the special happier moments we'd like to keep in mind in the future, while we are together, however long that may be.

For today, here is a picture of our first meal together at home, late last night after we finally got home from the hospital, enjoying takeout pizza from Tony's and of course, Mum-Mums...

C seems so much happier now that he is home, I've heard him laugh several times, and smile more, and he is enjoying being able to play unfettered by IV lines, despite his recent surgeries.  He has developed a fine pincer grasp recently, here he is picking up a little puffed cereal...